perhaps, sometimes in the silence

This week my heart's cry was to hear God or to hear his voice in some way. It mattered not if it was loud and clear or in a very quiet whisper. All I knew was that I needed to hear from Him. Too often my mind races-it truly does not slow down for a second. Filled with distraction I cannot hear a thing and at times don't even slow down long enough to see if my Father has anything to say. I want to be the woman in the crowd who presses through throngs of people, noises, distractions, thoughts to be near Jesus. I want to touch the hem of his garment, just the threads, in order to be healed, to be made whole again.
It has been a long time since I quieted my soul and meditated on Him, on nothing more than my savior and what He means to me. I wrestle with distractions of every kind. I cry real tears but even that does not bring me close enough to hear his voice.
I have a letter that my cousin wrote me several years ago. In it she encouraged me to press through the crowd, to fight my way into his presence. I remember reading the letter and thinking it was not pertinent to my life at the time. It was pertinent this morning as I lay prostrate on the floor, crying out to God and meeting him in the quiet place. In the secret place, Lord you are there.
I will continue to wrestle with distractions, but desire to spend more time in the silence, and to perhaps soon hear again the voice that has been calling.