Sunday, August 24, 2008

"The Musings of a Middle Aged Mom"

At my age birthdays are a scary thing. I know this because I've got one coming up way too fast. The days of 29 or even 39 seem almost mythical. Did my husband and children really throw me that "39 Forever Party?" or was that a figment of my imagination? And if it was real, hmmm, how many years ago was that?

Well, dear friends this year I've decided to write down a few thoughts on turning older before I forget them.

1. A relative today suggested to me that I view my impending birthday as not getting older, but growing younger. This is like. I'd like a Red Rider BB gun, please.
2. I've lost the last 30 days of my life, but have gained 8 pounds this month alone. I would not have known about the weight gain the evil Nurse Ratched insisted on putting my toes on a scale last week in the Rheumatology office.
3. Yes, I said Rheumatology, as in your grandmother's rheumatism. I can now predict the weather, thank you very much.
4. After 40, no one asks you what kind of birthday cake you'd like.
5. Facial hair is not something women talk about nearly enough. Instead of focusing on our men's hairy earlobes, I'd like to suggest that we encourage regular facial waxing just amongst ourselves. Nuff said.

For the record, that doctor's office scale lies... like a rug. Until next time, breathe.


Bethany said...

Post tena na tena (again and again)!

DebRiss said...

You are so right! Why dont we ask old people what kind of cake they would like? Oh and could you predict the weather for the week of Sept 13 - 20? Well, I am off to get my face waxed before someone mistakes me for Big Foot and I wind up mounted on a wall somewhere. LOVE YA!

Paula said...

Here, here! Especially about the facial waxing! I got those Lewis genes somehow, and it's totally aggravating!