Cross this off my 101

Well I have achieved the unthinkable. I have kept my Christmas Poinsettia alive since early December. I have also managed to NOT kill my Peace Lily plant for 18 months. I received another new houseplant last month and I can say, so far so good. If seems that if I water my plants only once a week or whenever they are "dry" that that live! With my daughter and husband as my witness I normally have the blackest of black thumbs. It's gotten to the point where my husband is sick and tired of looking at the enormous red Poinsettia sitting in the hallway. He has just about asked me to let it die a quiet and peaceful death, but I am not ready to commit planticide. I think I will give it one more month and then determine whether or not to pull the plug. Sounds awful doesn't it? 

As for the Peace Lily and the newest member of our plant family, long may they live.  I am working on this green thumb and hereby cross #  18 off of my list. Goodbye black thumb.

Messed up but forgiven

I find that we are all messed up. Dysfunctional, codependent and generally self-centered. If this were not so, we would have no need for a savior, let alone a spiritual accountability partner. For the past 25 years my husband has been my accountability partner. Certainly, girlfriends have always had their place in my life as I will tell them the boring stuff my husband cannot help me deal with. Or the drama that surrounds my life as a woman.
Every day encounters with Jesus remind me again, and again that he accepts me where I am. That I do not have to have my act together in order to pray or to ask forgiveness. So as messed up as I can be one minute, I still have an advocate with my heavenly father. I can still come to his throne as one of his children. And if I have screwed things up on my own, I am greeted with open arms. How cool is this? Initial forgiveness, ongoing redemption and sanctification are the coolest. And Jesus, His is the sweetest name I know.

my quest for a spiritual attitude

There is so much to living this spiritual life. So many disciplines we can embrace or discard. As I seek to draw closer to the heart of my savior, it becomes increasingly important to check my attitudes, my thoughts, and my desires. Doing this is never easy or enjoyable but is a worthy, noble goal.
In reading "everyday simplicity" by Robert J. Wicks, I discover 3 principles for carving out a deeper spiritual life.

1. Nourish a spiritual attitude underlying all of life which enables me to view everything---including my sufferings and confusion---in a way that deepens me (us) and makes life more meaningful.
2. Design "a little rule" of prayer so I can find and nurture a refreshing, renewing place within to be intimate with God;
3. Learn how to share myself (ourselves) with others in a compassionate way that mysteriously feeds and enlivens me (us) rather than depleting me or making me feel overburdened and resentful.

This is where I find myself today in my spiritual journey. I want to experience real faith, that is to breathe easily, have trust and to be free from fear. I desire a sense of freedom from brokenness, alienation, helplessness, anxiety. I also desire to offer others this same faith. So today I will breathe.

In this place

Have you ever wondered why God has you in a certain place, time, location? Just wonder what he's up to that you can't see from where you are standing? I believe it is always because God sees the Big Picture and there's no humanly way possible for us to see what He sees. We poor humans see but through a glass darkly. 1 Cor. 13:12 says, "Now we see things imperfectly, as in a poor mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God knows me know." I love the way Paul states the truth in this passage.
And so many times the glass we look through is cloudy, maybe even dirty or smudged with our fingerprints and so we miss the bigger picture. Has this happened to you? Have you missed the bigger picture because you eyes were focused on the wrong thing or not really focused at all? It is so easy for me to misunderstand what God is doing, or rather to be focused on the wrong thing. Without spiritual bifocals, I can't see 2 feet in front of me.
Allen is in Hawaii at this very moment sound asleep. He has now been gone for an entire week, actually 8 days, but I know that God would have him there working the Pro Bowl, doing his thing. God would have it no other way and actually Allen would have it no other way. This year I opted no to go along on the dream trip of a lifetime. Kevin R. (you dog) went in my place. And that is okay. In fact, it is where both men are meant to be.
I am home roosting in sunny South Carolina, doing my thing. I am trying hard to listen to God and to see the Big Picture in light of many frantic days. My days consist of praying, packing boxes, listening to His Radio and knowing I'm in this place (not Hawaii) for a reason.
Baby Girl is seeking after God with her whole heart and praying about Kenya, her home away from home. God is slowly unveiling His plans and the Big Picture right before her very eyes. Is she in the right place? I'd say that yes, she really is standing in the place she is supposed to be. I think we all are. I think each of us is called to stop, look and listen. The glass may be cloudy now, but his purpose will be revealed. We are in this place for a reason. And God is at work.

perhaps, sometimes in the silence

This week my heart's cry was to hear God or to hear his voice in some way. It mattered not if it was loud and clear or in a very quiet whisper. All I knew was that I needed to hear from Him. Too often my mind races-it truly does not slow down for a second. Filled with distraction I cannot hear a thing and at times don't even slow down long enough to see if my Father has anything to say. I want to be the woman in the crowd who presses through throngs of people, noises, distractions, thoughts to be near Jesus. I want to touch the hem of his garment, just the threads, in order to be healed, to be made whole again.
It has been a long time since I quieted my soul and meditated on Him, on nothing more than my savior and what He means to me. I wrestle with distractions of every kind. I cry real tears but even that does not bring me close enough to hear his voice.
I have a letter that my cousin wrote me several years ago. In it she encouraged me to press through the crowd, to fight my way into his presence. I remember reading the letter and thinking it was not pertinent to my life at the time. It was pertinent this morning as I lay prostrate on the floor, crying out to God and meeting him in the quiet place. In the secret place, Lord you are there.
I will continue to wrestle with distractions, but desire to spend more time in the silence, and to perhaps soon hear again the voice that has been calling.

All but One DVD to go

As some of you may know it has been a dream of mine to sit and watch the entire set of Nooma DVD's. This week I will cross off item # 70 from my 101 List. It was pure luxury to sit in my pajamas to watch these again. Each DVD features Rob Bell, pastor of an active church in Grand Rapids, Michigan. These short films are only 11 to 12 minutes long but communicate wisdom in a compact, portable, and concise way. They are that powerful.

Check out http://www.nooma.com/ to see clips. There is one DVD in the set that we do not own entitled, "Tomato. "