Saturday, August 30, 2008

Dad is Great

I'd like to follow-up on my week long birthday celebration so if you'll just bear with me, I'll make this brief:

First of all, root canals are of the devil! But and this is a big but, pain meds and antibiotics are truly miraculous.

Having said all that, I have not had the best week. Somehow I managed to develop an infection and/or mouth sores from all of that dental work. And so going to the dentist reminds me of Mr. Bill Cosby. Bill Cosby is one of my all time favorite comedians. While on pain meds two of his best routines came to mind. Nearly everyone has heard his infamous take on going to the dentist. "Mybba lip iz in my lap! Mybliiipizmybylap." Now he says rinse to cover his mistake of the drill slipping.

After my grueling 3 hours in the dental chair, I drove to the pharmacy to pick up said miracle drugs. I arrived home in pain as the novacaine had already worn off. I dragged myself to the sofa and popped some pills. When I awoke, my darling husband of 24 years was in the kitchen preparing a gourmet dinner for us to celebrate my birthday. I'll admit it was hard to think about food, any kind of food. But there he was seasoning filet mignon, baked potatoes and vegetables. And to top it off he had stopped by the Piggly Wiggly for a birthday cake. Not just any birthday cake, but a small, round double-layer chocolate cake with coconut icing. I started singing another Bill Cosby classic, "Dad is great, give us the chocolate cake." Oh yeah, my Man, now he's the greatest.

Until next time, breathe.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

"The Musings of a Middle Aged Mom"

At my age birthdays are a scary thing. I know this because I've got one coming up way too fast. The days of 29 or even 39 seem almost mythical. Did my husband and children really throw me that "39 Forever Party?" or was that a figment of my imagination? And if it was real, hmmm, how many years ago was that?

Well, dear friends this year I've decided to write down a few thoughts on turning older before I forget them.

1. A relative today suggested to me that I view my impending birthday as not getting older, but growing younger. This is like. I'd like a Red Rider BB gun, please.
2. I've lost the last 30 days of my life, but have gained 8 pounds this month alone. I would not have known about the weight gain the evil Nurse Ratched insisted on putting my toes on a scale last week in the Rheumatology office.
3. Yes, I said Rheumatology, as in your grandmother's rheumatism. I can now predict the weather, thank you very much.
4. After 40, no one asks you what kind of birthday cake you'd like.
5. Facial hair is not something women talk about nearly enough. Instead of focusing on our men's hairy earlobes, I'd like to suggest that we encourage regular facial waxing just amongst ourselves. Nuff said.

For the record, that doctor's office scale lies... like a rug. Until next time, breathe.